Unfiltered

Well, I have a new poem… I should be asleep right now, but I’m not, so I’m posting this. Enjoy :)

Do you ever think

about how many lives

you affect

with your own?

Everyday people

live, and walk, and

enter one another’s lives

seamlessly as if in

a story,

each interaction

introducing new characters,

injecting the chapters

with variety

and new personality.

Do you ever think

of the actions you take?

Action means change,

consequence is change.

Consequences

are left everywhere

like illegitimate children;

so large a

result for so small

an action.

Do you ever think

that people notice

your avoidance?

I notice

when your eyes can’t

stay locked in mine.

They dart frantically

anywhere but

through my lashes,

always returning to

rest

in the same place.

Do you ever think

of how much is remembered?

Know that you

will remember,

be remembered,

make memories of how

your life affects,

your actions,

the consequences.

The life you lead

leaves prints on life,

permanent, no eraser,

pen writing the past.

Do you ever think?

Untitled

Sitting

and waiting

for tall-dark-

and-handsome,

curled in my corner

like a comma

in a run-on sentence

armchair,

punctuated.

By the lamplight

I watch painted 

butterflies flit over

the reflection

of a caffeinated atmosphere.

People-watching

people give glances

everywhere.

Next to them, away

from me, everywhere

there are eyes

dotted and

across teas 

words fly through steaming

white cups.

Sitting, and waiting,

and watching

the doors,

those transitional fillers

of the story 

I observe.

What does the story mean?

A group of couched

laptops ask, and before

the answer 

is divulged,

a new character enters

the discussion.

The chapter

ends, ushered out

by a dark and beautiful

man, who

takes me through

the end.

Love and anger are two passions in the same thread of emotion. They exist in the same world, as siblings or bickering lovers. Opposites attract and all that. Love and anger are more related than love and lust, despite the fact that love and lust get confused so much. Lust is a want, a desire. It can be manifestly expressed, physically and verbally. “I want you” can be embellished in so many ways but still boils down to the same basic meaning. Love and anger extend to the point of speechlessness; “more than words can describe” is a cliche for a reason. Language is not complex or clear enough to accurately describe what needs describing. It reminds me of Derrida’s statement that language is unstable; words only meanings are the images that we prescribe to them. The word ‘tree’ means nothing without the image of a tree, but the tree doesn’t cease to exist if the word disappears. In the case of love and anger, we have no concrete image with which to associate with the words. Emotions are such an abstract notion; each person feels them differently, at different levels and capacities. 

We can’t expect to find one word to describe such complexities, but what if we could? I had a conversation about this the other night with a wonderful group of young men. We discussed so much, but one thing that I was intrigued by was an idea that one day we may share a worldwide language. If that happens, what language do we choose? A language like French has the capacity to describe emotion much better than English, which, despite all of its complexities, is a simply descriptive language that focuses on comparative details that can’t always necessarily express what needs to be expressed. Will a language evolve to the communicative needs of the user? Or are some things beyond what language has the capability to express? I think that part of why emotion is so powerful is because it is beyond language. It is variable in people, and complex in a way that can’t always be described. It is so meaningful that even something as strong as language can’t fully express it. As soon as language is stronger than the emotions is describes, the emotion is no longer that meaningful enigma it once was. It is not so powerful as to be beyond expression, undervaluing emotion because it can now be so easily said.

So I thought I’d put up a poem or two… I only dabble, so don’t judge me too harshly :P

8-Count

I

love too

much the thrill

of twirling and

stepping across the

dance floor. I crave the strong

connection in his arms that

would never fail or let me drop.

~

The

sway of

sexy swing

moves with his hand,

firm on my back and

shoulder. Step-step-hold and

dipping me lower, deeper

than anyone sharing the floor.

~

Blues.

He leads.

I follow,

my face inches

from his, like sex in

heels on hardwood floors. We

gravitate to the edge as

he catches my breath, impassioned.

Swimming Lessons

Your eyes sail away

  across an ocean

    of Solitude.

      Your mouth has ceased

        to voice the tides

      that kept you here.

    Distance

  is all I feel,

in crashing waves

  from your very core.

    If you don’t return

      I’ll lose you

        forever.

      Pursuit is impossible

    for I cannot swim.